Temper, I see you!

TRUTH: I tend to mentally and physically hand the kids to my husband, and then expect a little too much. I went out with a friend last night and got back late, he had the kids in bed and like I often do, crashed with them. He was taking care of them all weekend non-stop because I worked both Saturday and Sunday. I did prep most of the meals but he was stuck taking the kids to the eye doctor, ensuring my eldest studied for his test this week etc. etc. Actually, he did a lot. He does a lot and actually really has minimal "him" time, yet he never asks for it. Even with this knowledge in the back of my head, I freaked out at him. I feel guilty for freaking out this morning. To wake up and face the disaster in the home was an inner battle that was lost. I tried to suck it in, I really did but than lost it. I hate the never- ending house work that without choice is heavily my job. All week, I try to keep it in order and one weekend working and it is all undone. So after years of fighting about this I am thinking I have to resign that this is a fact of life. BUT, I have to make it easier for me without losing my temper or feeling resentment because I want to live simply in my heart too.

I have no answer yet, throwing stuff out feels cathartic and the less stuff is less to clean up. I think I will hide away most of my dishes and pots and pans so they have no choice but to wash-up after they use it ( can't throw them out because I do like having friends over). Yes, that is a start ( sorry, problem solving as I write). OK. Hello new week, I resolve to focus on the kitchen and to make it less of a place of contention. PS. the kids seem to be understanding this a bit more than my husband- that I am becoming more " no nonsense". I told them I am grabbing 3 garbage bags and will fill them up today and they understood immediately that it means what I find on the floor is going in and there was a mad scramble to pick-up stuff. They have seen me throw out their toys and now know I mean business. I do mean business because honestly the efforts I have put in so far really has given more peace and the time to see when the peace is in danger of being rocked. REALLY, the boys and I are so much more closer and loving since I started this simplifying process it is worth it already.