The road to simplification

What springs to mind when the word "simplifying" is thrown at you? 

Over a dozen years ago I threw some books and clothing into a suitcase and moved to a foreign country. I needed very little, just basic hygiene stuff, work clothing, book, journal and I was "that" happy clam. A boyfriend convinced me that even if I was in a temporary place that I really " needed" more stuff. Accumulation began but still, way after that boyfriend was replaced I ended up finding the individual I would spend my life with, everything I had could fit into a few boxes on moving day...he on the other hand, had A LOT of stuff. Babies came and our home filled up with more things and we still lived our crazy single life in someways with the schedule and it all became " too much", so before third baby came I had resolved to " keep it simple" and like magic I was in a happy place . I already acknowledged my belief in small space living when we were beginning the process of house hunting. A certain lifestyle belief that brought me peace was being built, my cousin came from Canada and strengthened my decision to do this as he was and is much further along in not giving a rats ass what people think but deeply concerned about the print he was leaving on the environment. He was dazzled by my balcony garden and composter, the living space that was not huge but enough, the location that allowed me to walk everywhere, it was great to have an ally in what I felt was living more meaningfully. And then I had baby 3 and I found that what once gave me joy was a source of embarrassment and bother. Things went from crazy to dark. I barely knew how to survive and navigate. It took almost 3 years to climb out. And when I came out it was interesting to see what I had. It was like the realization I felt at 21 after my father died "I don't want to want anything". At 38, am not talking about minimalism, just talking about living simple and streamlined. I have a wonderful life and when everyday is a party, it is hard to appreciate it for what it is. 

When I emerged from the dark place I saw how many friends I had on my journey with me, I saw a loyal partner who stuck with me and kids who I wanted to celebrate. 

I also saw "too much". Too much ambivalence, too many obligations, too much physical stuff that took time away from my life, too many expectations. JUST TOO MUCH when the most peaceful moments, memorable moments were when we were functioning as a family of five in a hotel, discovering the world around us. Think about how much stuff you have when you stay in a hotel, very little is needed.

I am very blessed in some ways. Those 3 years were tough and I was given time and space to figure it out. Some of that required financial resources, we ate out A LOT, we traveled A LOT yet we never went into debt, I was never a big shopper but I did have the luxury to waste on useless stuff when I wanted to. Knowing the daily financial struggles of many I felt sick about how I wasted my resources. Ideally, to live happily on the national average would be much more responsible. I understand life is meant to be lived but the average annual income should be enough to do that and I feel a bit like a spoiled brat to want expensive material positions just because I can afford it. At a very young age, I saw the destruction of what "keeping up with the Joneses" does and it isn't pretty. 

One final simplifying that must be addressed. The mind clutter that brought me to the danger- zone! This is when mindfulness comes in handy, quick acknowledgment of feelings, observing the small acts that make life grand. When living and working with others life is bound to have ups and downs so to focus on the detritus of the day instead of the treasures is only productive if it is to clean-up not to ruminate.

This journey restarted actually almost half a year ago but really started falling into place in the last couple of months. My husband was away last night and I sat on the couch listening to bickering kids and in my frustration said " off to bed". So we all clamored into bed together...who lies next to Mommy ensued and I had to take a deep breath. I popped son 3 (s3) on my chest and wrapped my arms around son 1 (s1) and son 2 ( s2) who served as wings. S2 quickly started his rounds in dreamland. S1 and s3 never sleep so quickly. And then s3 kisses me and says " I love you Mommy...I love you s1 he whispers", s1 whispers " I love you too and I love s2 too...I love Mommy and Papa too" " yes, I love s2 and papa too" s3 says with understanding and they snuggle closer unknowing that I was stunned at their innocent transaction. They always say The words to ME but I have never heard the boys say " I love you" to each other. It was a very thoughtful, meaningful "I love you".

 Kids have it right, they can spend all day fluctuating between play and fights but at the end of the day to remember the love is all that matters.

Numbers for November

Happy Last Day of November!!!!!

Here are a few interesting numbers for November:

# of days in November: 30

# of Members in my family: 5 

# of homemade breakfasts: 29 days x 5 people= 145

# of homemade lunches for 5 people ( minus the  days school provided ones)=91

# of homemade dinners minus  the 5 that hubby was away a few days and 1 meal eaten out as a family- 141

# of servings of meals eaten out of the house- 20 ( my husband had 4 required company shingdings, I ate one lunch out with a friend and  last Sunday we went on an excursion for the day that required all meals eaten out)

# of snacks= I never recorded all the snacks but just say one a day= 150

Total of snacks and meals from home: 527

Grocery total for ALL of November= 30,000 yen ( just think around 300 bucks, if you are a forex junkie you can scream at me about the current exchange rate)

Yup, 1000 yen ( 10 bucks a day).

This is not the norm for me. We eat out so much that I could have just easily started a restaurant blog. I just decided that we wouldn't eat out in November and I rediscovered my joy in menu planning ( I use to LOVE menu planning but after my third son was born I went  into survival mode and getting out of bed was my biggest accomplishment).

But the figure is remarkably low don't you think? 5 people ( 2 adults and 3 boys 4,6 and 9). We ate incredibly well too. During a week we had lots of fruit and veggies, dinner with meat a few times a few times, fish a couple of times and 1-2 vegetarian meals...remember each WEEK.

Curious?

We ate exceptionally well. Healthy, balanced meals with treats too.

Here is a peek: 

Breakfast varied day to day. Some examples are : cereal, oatmeal, egg/ toast, rice with meat and veggies, muffins, cheese toast, fruit and homemade yogurt...

Lunch- pretty much leftovers or I set aside meat pieces when prepping dinner to create a whole new lunch for my husband with it. 

Dinner is where the fun is! During the course of last week for example we had:  meatloaf, vegetarian doria using spiced lentils, Japanese meat and potatoes, vegetarian curry, Seafood Japanese noodle bowl, Indian Prantha ( filled roti, pictured above), salmon burgers. Plus all the side stuff and add in the carbs like rice and bread. 

I was lucky in that we were given some veggies and fruit so that certainly kept the grocery bill low.

I THINK though, regardless of what was given to us, it still would have been remarkably cheap. The upside of being an Indo- Canadian living in Japan is that I suffer from no functional fixedness when it comes to food. Common food spans cuisines for me so when I see a potato I can do a million and 1 things with it. I am not a good cook but a flexible one. 

So my friends, lesson learned from November, instead of opening the pocket book, thinking there is nothing to eat at home, open the fridge! Open-minded cooking equals happy body and happy wallet. You would be surprised what can be created with a bit of life experience and a bit of ingredients. 

PS

I found that I actually saved time too, getting kids out the door, ordering, waiting, eating is an hour hand chewer. The boys are getting older so many cooking/ bonding times were had this month and I sure appreciate them for peeling and chopping with the blunt kiddie knife for me. It ( briefly) kept them productively busy and out of trouble.

PSS

The date shows up as November 29 but it is in fact the 30th in Japan.

The first snowfall

The first snowfall. Winter doesn't look good on my city. My friend recently moved to Germany and the view of this season is evocative of fairytales. I am an expat Canadian, snow looks awesome on Canada and the country has profited from it as it lures people to experience " The Great Canadian Winter". Aside from the rough driving conditions people can look forward to curling up to watch hockey on TV in their warm, centrally heated homes, drinking warm brandy in front of the fireplace yadda, yadda.

We don't have hockey here. The one skating rink closed down years ago although there are plans to build another one,  I vaguely remember signing a petition for it. I live on the Japan sea coast where the waves rise up ready to grab some unsuspecting pedestrian strolling by. The air sucks in its belly and spews out a harsh, full force wind that not only knocks you off your feet, navigates the most minuscule holes in your fabric to penetrate your thermal underwear but also has the ability to stop trains. IT STOPS TRAINS.....OFTEN!!!! And if the wind isn't enough, it has made some morbid pact with the rain to keep the good time rolling. It is cold, wet and windy. Our snow is sleet. Wool stinks olfactory wise at this time of the year, winter boots are useless as they never succeed in keeping your toes dry which means the pressure is put on rubber boots that are meant to keep the water out but has no concept of warmth. Throw in the perpetual gray sky and it is all a lethal mix. Seasonal Affective Disorder 100percent guaranteed or your money back!

But life is meant to be celebrated. My biggest dream is to be as simple as possible. Having  little children, I have learned that simplicity is survival. They were happy to wake up shivering, they gobbled up breakfast and pulled on those boots, gloves and hats with ease as if the in between seasons never occurred. They called me out into the technically crappy weather and started throwing wet snowballs at each other as they waited for the preschool bus. As I kissed their frozen cheeks I noted that those cheeks were taut and held up by big curved smiles. I want to keep their joy going. I made some cut-out cookie dough and selected some winter themed cutters from my stash so they can make their own warm snack. I think tonight calls out for board games and warm drinks maybe even dig out Christmas music. I still haven't figured out how to control the weather so I gotta make best with what I got.